Kevin Fischer is a veteran broadcaster, the recipient of over 150 major journalism awards from the Milwaukee Press Club, the Wisconsin Associated Press, the Northwest Broadcast News Association, the Wisconsin Bar Association, and others. He has been seen and heard on Milwaukee TV and radio stations for over three decades. A longtime aide to state Senate Republicans in the Wisconsin Legislature, Kevin can be seen offering his views on the news on the public affairs program, "InterCHANGE," on Milwaukee Public Television Channel 10, and heard filling in on Newstalk 1130 WISN. He lives with his wife, Jennifer, and their lovely baby daughter, Kyla Audrey, in Franklin.
You can count on them every holiday.
They are the rag tag, fuddy duddy killjoys that aren’t happy unless they make the holidays unhappy for everyone. Usually they’re liberals or atheists.
Who could possibly rain on
Newsbusters stumbled upon a nutjob June 2009 piece written by Russell McClendon at the ---get ready for goosebumps--- Mother Nature Network. Ooooh, does that feel all warm and gooshy or what?
You see, when it comes to the 4th of July, I say light up the sky over and over and over again and just when you think there’s been enough, do it all over again. The ---excuse me while I grab some Kleenex---Mother Nature Network--- says fireworks are bad, bad, bad, nasty bad.
THIS IS THE 10:00 REPORT. HERE NOW IS YOUR UP TO THE MINUTE ANCHORMAN, DIRK ROBERTS!
ROBERTS: Thank you, my adoring announcer man.
An exclusive reminder from the 10:00 REPORT, you silly celebratory Americans.
According to the, (tear falls) Mother Nature Network, “The rockets' red glare during a fireworks show can fill onlookers with particulates and aluminum.”
(Shaking head in disgust) Oh my God, folks, there’s more. The (SNIFF) Mother Nature Network says, “Fireworks get their flamboyance from a variety of chemicals, many of which are toxic to humans. From the gunpowder that fuels their flight to the metallic compounds that color their explosions, fireworks often contain carcinogenic or hormone-disrupting substances that can seep into soil and water, not to mention the lung-clogging smoke they release and plastic debris they scatter.”
We’ll have more in a moment, but first, the annual Gay Pride Parade wound its way downtown this evening…..
Back to that Mother Nature Network column. First they attempt to scare the daylights out of you before conceding, “It’s still not entirely clear how fireworks affect environmental or human health.”
But then, bring back the scare:
“While they (fireworks) haven’t been linked to any widespread outbreaks of disease, it's not always easy to pin down why someone developed hypothyroidism, anemia or cancer.”
Please follow along the moonbat philosophy on fireworks:
Fireworks shoot up, up into the sky.
Fireworks come down, down to earth.
Fireworks are a “toxic concoction.”
The “toxic concoction’ (sounds like a late 60’s rock band) then “rains down quietly into lakes, rivers and bays throughout the country.’
Those icky chemicals just sit there. They don’t break down, dagnabbit.
They can cause hypothyroidism, lung cancer, impair bone growth in children, lead to Alzheimer’s disease, disrupt hormone production and glucose metabolism, and can result in symptoms like vomiting, diarrhea, breathing trouble, changes in blood pressure, numbness around the face, general muscle weakness, cramps, changes in heart rhythm, paralysis or death.
Fireworks, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, according to the…..well….you know who….can “wreak havoc in the human body.”
Thus, if you use fireworks or attend a fireworks show, you are a fool flirting with the Grim Reaper. The ……you know who….has a better idea:
“The most eco-friendly alternative to fireworks is to forgo explosions altogether — go to a parade, go fishing, grill out, camp out, or help out. If you must see the sky festively illuminated, you might want to try a laser light show, which create dazzling displays of color without launching dangerous chemicals into the air.”
A laser light show?
That’s like looking at Raquel Welch outdoors in
Let’s check some of the online comments that came in following this, AHEM, article:
“i went to the fire works sat on the sand semi close to where they where shot off and i got sick the same way 2 years. the first year i thought food poisoning but the 2nd. year the same way no way it was the fire works by the time i drove home got in the yard i could not hold my head up i had to be helped in and i threw up was very sick and disy until the next day this happened 2 years in a row i had forgotten the first year until it happened the 2nd year so no more close fire works for me and the articles seem real to me they should come up with the light show everywhere.”
Yeh, I hear ya, and I feel really bad. There’s a real easy answer, Earth Shoes. STAY HOME AND WATCH THE FIREWORKS ON TV!
"The Problem I see Daily with Fireworks is the amazing amount of PLASTIC debris, partly melted, that washes ashore with the high tide after every fireworks display let alone the chunks of cardboard/paper mortars that float in that supposingly "desinegrate" when exploded. Every day when we walk along the shores in
Just a hunch. You went to public schools?
"How I plan to celebrate the 4th. I think that I will select a few big used tires from my enormous stack and burn them sequentially on the 4th - it should make a nice black smoke that can be seen fro miles. Saw them burning in
God bless you!
For rip-roaring laughs, here’s that piece from…….you know who.
I’m not sure what
I will say this. I moved into