Ms. Elaine Kneeous
Jennifer is a one in a million stay-at-home mom. (More like one OF a million stay at home moms!) She graduated from a liberal arts college but there is nothing liberal OR artsy about her. She is married to Kevin Fischer of This Just In, and together they have a beautiful toddler daughter Kyla Audrey. In no particular order she loves dogs, wine, a good bargain, her family, pizza, and entertaining. Follow her blog of all things miscellaneous including but not limited to cooking and baking, entertaining and party planning, being a mommy, and homekeeping.
What do you mean, HAPPY Halloween?
How to sound like a Halloween Hater in three easy steps:
1. Compare Halloween (specifically Trick or Treating) when you were a kid to how things are now: a hobo costume & pillow case for candy vs. a $50 store-bought get-up with coordinating $10 treat bucket.
2. Worry about how costumes for your toddler will serve only to confuse and torment him or her; decide that clearly anything out there for girls is a) too gory b) too sexual and c) just too difficult to put on her anyhow.
3. Decide that watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” together as a family will cause irreparable damage to your kids’ self-image because ol’ Chuck gets a rock in his treat sack.
The only thing that I found disturbing this year was thinking about how when I was a kid the biggest worry was the urban legend of a razor blade in an apple. Now, the thing on parents’ minds everywhere is “Will my kid ring the doorbell of a registered sex offender?”
Sadly we even received an email via Ald. Steve Olson from Franklin Chief of Police Rick Oliva. It read in part: “Questions come up every year at this time about what the police department is going to do about the city’s Sex Offender Registrants during Trick or Treating. As in the past, this year we are working with Probation and Parole to ensure that the registrants who are under Active Supervision are reminded that they are not allowed to have any contact with children, including giving out candy during Trick or Treat.”
Wow. Costumed freaks don’t scare me; REGISTERED freaks do.
Now then, to address the three points above…
1. I do not sew and I am not the most creative person when it comes to Halloween costumes. Somehow we have managed to dress Kyla for four years without taking out a small loan to cover the cost, AND I have managed to coordinate my costume with her every year. The internet is overflowing with simple, fast, no-sew costume ideas: you just might have heard about this thing called Pinterest…
2. OK, Stephanie Hanes, I sympathize with your costume conundrum TO A POINT. I agree that there are some pretty questionable get-ups out there for the under-five set. Clearly it’s up to us as parents to find an appropriate outfit for our little ones. I’ve found no challenges in dressing our daughter in suitable garb these past four years. She was proud to show off her (GASP! Disney-inspired!) costume as she rang doorbells; she was equally happy to stand at the door and share candy with neighbor kids. That night, she had no difficulty getting to sleep from a sugar high, nor did she suffer nightmares from ghoulish costumes of others.
Stephanie references her 19-month old daughter: “…many children her age get confused and troubled by strange changes in environment. While it might be empowering for her later to chose a costume and take on a different identify for a day, and while it would certainly be cute for us adults now, why force her into what, at this age, is an unexplainable – and likely very scary – situation? Or, for that matter, teach her that it’s OK to go up to random people’s doors, ring the bell, and take whatever they give you? (Again, cool for older kids, impossible to explain to younger ones.)” SERIOUSLY?
3. Wow, Buzz Bishop, you must be a hoot at parties! Do you hang out with ol’ Stephanie? Sure, times have changed. But the true meaning of bullying has been so overblown and overused that we now cry foul even when Charlie Brown gets called a blockhead in a cartoon that’s been amusing families for nearly 50 years. How ‘bout using it as a simple teaching moment? Don’t get too analytical, just something simple like “Don’t call other kids stupid” and leave it at that.
Of course parents want the best for their children; keeping them happy & safe is paramount. But we’re so worried about helmets & padding that they can’t do a summersault without special equipment. We want their precious self-images so preserved that every kid on the team gets a trophy even if they’re a bench-warmer. We can’t let them enjoy one single day of chocolate and costumes without thinking they’ll be ruined for life. Can’t wait to see what Buzz, Stephanie and their contemporaries have to say about Christmas.
P.S. The moment you've all been waiting for... a photo of our little darling in all her Halloween cuteness and glory:
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